I've never been to a stripclub. My sister used to be a stripper so I'm worried I'll go in and see her there. I'll be mad cause why should i have to pay for something i can see at home for free. 

I went to the doctor and because i was feeling bad lately. 
me-Doc, i feel like i might be having a stroke I read that you smell toast when youre about to have one.
Doc- That's not true, also i wouldn't worry about having a stroke.
me- why?
Doc- Diabetes will get you long before a stroke will. 

Comedy has the most Euphoric addiction to it. Its more addictive then any drug and it can cause you the best feelings in the world but it can also give you the most soul crushing experiences you will ever face. ​

​I think of all comedy Festivals as the best example of Schrodingers cat. 
When you apply you to a festival you are on it and not at the same time till you open the email. After you apply to a festival you have the surge of thinking you got on. You have to prepare for it. Most of the time its out of time and to get a cheap plane ticket you need to buy as soon as possible. A lot of festivals you have about a month after you find out you got in before the festival starts. This blog post sadly is about the other kind of email you get from submitting. The rejection. Sometimes you won't even get that. A lot of festivals don't email you if you don't get in. They state that in the submission process and you just have to hear someone else got in and then go on a hunt for  your name. When you see list of all the comics that got in but you search for yours and its not there. Its going to happen. It'll happen more than not when you are starting out; even when you are a few years into comedy you'll get rejected from festivals. 

What not to do :Don't feel bad. Just because you didn't get in doesn't mean you're not funny. There was a festival where 500 people applied and 46 got in. That doesn't mean 434 weren't funny it just means the people who booked it weren't looking for that particle type of comedy. I've applied to 15 festivals in 1 year got into 2. I'm not going to quit comedy. I'm not going to call up the festival and say how wrong they are for not having me. It'll hurt for a minute. You'll think why did they let that guy in but not me. I sent my best video great production and fantastic audio. I should be on. That's the worst attitude to have. 

What to do: Hey its all good. Just be happy for the people that got in. If you know them congratulate them. Festivals are so important and even if you didn't get in you're money for the festival is going to help them put it together and keep promoting comedians that other wise couldn't do for that area. If it was only comedy clubs and bar shows there wouldn't be enough for everyone to get a shot. Festivals are important for the comedy community. Next time you can apply have a better video. It'll be about a year so make another video; Get better so that next year you'll be so good that they can't say no to you.


I love festivals. I get to meet new people, hear new jokes, and try comedy in front of a completely new audience. The first one i did was Laugh fest. I drove 13 hours from Baltimore, MD to Grand Rapids, MI just for 2 shows. It was still one of the funnest shows I've done. When i got off stage i was so happy i felt drunk with ecstasy.  I'm saying this as not only for new comics to read and to not get discouraged; i also do this for me. After 4 years of comedy I still face rejection on a daily basis for shows. I won't quit and neither should you. Get a good video. Submit it and you'll get into one. Remember when you stop having fun with this is the only time you should quit.





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As a stand up comedian you will bomb. It happens to everyone. No matter how good you are or how good you think you are you will bomb and it will be awful. You will get off the stage and just be like "god why do i do this at all?", "I'm never going to be good enough." " I should just quit." I think those things all the time. You constantly think how can you get better and always think "i could have done better." Thats good. It means you care about your art. Go up on stage and bomb. Figure out why you bombed; was it a new joke? What can you change about that new joke to make it get a laugh next time? 
I have a joke about Grinder I have told that joke 680 times. It has bombed 230 times. I have changed it from a  4 minute joke to a 28 second joke. Bombing doesn't mean you are bad and it doesn't mean the audience doesn't get comedy. You're perfecting a craft that takes time and effort to complete. Musicians can stay home and practice and come with their best. Comedians can not sadly. Practicing a joke means getting up in front of people and having their reaction telling us if its good or not. 

The last time i bombed it was with a new joke that i thought would crush. It absolutely didn't at all. It fell flat and the punchline was terrible. So what did i do? Tore it apart. Wrote a better variation on the punchline. Cut it in half for time.  I listened to it a couple of times ( Record your sets and listen to the ones you bomb at every time). After the rewrite I took it back on stage again and it bombed again.  I kept working on that joke till it was funny. Now I use it as my opener on booked shows.  

What you should NEVER do when you bomb:

1) Blame the audience. If you're funny they listen and they'll laugh
2) Put down the room. (There is a Netflix special that was shot in a living room)
3) Quit ( You love doing comedy and it makes you happy don't stop)
4) Put yourself down (It happens and you can learn from it)
5) Blame the comic before you ( They have nothing to do with your set)

Comedy isn't easy its one of the hardest art forms to do well in and do professionally.  I worked on a joke for 2 hours and when i brought it to the stage and it fell flat it hurt. Telling a joke is taking a bit of yourself and baring it to the world.  I've gotten off on a booked show when i didn't do well and I've apologized to my wife because it wasn't good enough. 

What you SHOULD do when you bomb: 

1) Listen to your set ( Listen to when they laughed and when they didn't)
2) Don't show it on your face (If you act like you bombed the audience might have thought you did good but will change their energy if you do)
3) Be motivated (You learn a lot more from bombing then from crushing)
4) Think about what they did laugh at ( if they laughed at something think about it and feel better) 


Thank you for reading this. I hope it helped and if  you think i should add anything or think its terrible let me know.